As I travel through my journey of spiritual development...im learning how being with both my mother and my father makes me feel and how different that is with each of them. Of course I draw great personal power from both of them, but I also have to be aware of the negative ways they affect me as well. I can catch the drift by talking to my Dad on the phone and texting my Mom, but actually going to visit them really intensifies things for me and helps me to learn who I am a little better. I really feel for people who have lost their parents...so when I do find someone without I want to give them extra compassion and understanding if I can. Even people who struggle with their relationships with their parents makes my heart go out to them, as I have a tumultuous time with my Mother often enough that when Im able to talk about it with a friend it makes me hugely grateful that someone will listen.
The path Ive taken is a journey towards healing, which includes removing as much stress and pressure in my life that I can. It has been a bit of a struggle, as I am feeling old urges to make more money and take risks. I think these urges come from a desire to be mentally challenged, but sometimes I don't know if Im doing it for myself or to be more excepted by my parents. It also comes from wanting to hold on to my independence, but do I really need that or is it something I should leave behind? Feel free to chime in for those of you that low me...
Sometimes relationships with our parents are difficult simply because of a generational perspective, but more often simply because parents want everything to be perfect for their children, but perfect from their point of view. They want us to be happy and successful but our definition of happiness and success is often different than theirs.
ReplyDeleteMy father died way too young at 62 and I missed having him to talk with at so many critical times. So cherish the opportunity to be with your mom and dad.
I hope the path you have chosen is successful for you and brings you peace and happiness. Outside forces and urges always challenge us. I know and I gave in to an urge, but you know I am not sorry……..I think you can discern the urge I am talking about.
You say you are healing, and I only hope the pain you are healing from was not too too bad, and that I did not contribute to your pain in any way.
Hi Lovely Lady. I am glad to see you posting again. When I saw your sites down, I began to worry. I hope your journey is allowing you to truly understand what your heart needs. Independence is a tricky word. It is actually easier to be independent than to admit we have a need in our heart/soul that can only be filled by another to some extent.
ReplyDeleteA book I gave you years ago would definitely help you in your current journey. If you monitor your old email you had on your old site, I would be happy to send more info on that, as well as very thought-provoking podcasts that will bring you further insight.
Take care, Silky Cloud.